I never sat in abject disbelief as the evening wore on this Election Tuesday. From the word go, something deep inside me almost expected the night to turn out the way it did. I publicly predicted a Romney win, but never felt comfortable with saying it out loud.
It could have been that part of me played the “superstition” card. Like, “Uh-oh. I said it. Now I’ve jinxed it!” You know, like “in ’04 I hadn’t changed my underwear in a week and in ’08 I did… So leading up to the election I made sure to not change my underwear since the previous Tuesday”… Ok, not THAT exactly, but LIKE that. During the St Louis Cardinals ’11 playoff run, at some point, we determined that when we waved our ‘rally socks’ – clean ones from the wash, and when our youngest daughter climbed up into a door jamb that had no door and was in a position for it to be impossible for her to see the T.V., the Cards won! Yes. Every time. This year they did too. Every time we did this silly little superstitious crap. In fact, after the Cards went up 3-1 in the NLCS, something in me said, “this is not their year.” I’m not claiming to be clairvoyant, but we ceased the traditional sock waving/door jamb climb starting with game 5. I don’t know why.
Getting to a more serious juncture, and hurrying back up the bunny trail I so deftly navigated,… Something inside me said, “this is not his year.” I just didn’t see it. No matter how many Roves there were out there or Newts that were predicting a solid win… it seemed like a fairy tale ending that was too good to be true.
My head is forever a swirling noisy place – not a place filled with much worry, dread, regrets, etc., but a place of constant deductive reasoning. My family gets tired of me saying, “That’s subjective,” to the point where I rarely if ever say it anymore. That doesn’t change the fact that I immediately recognize subjective reasoning and call it out. I did this in a poll before the election. It was actually a question that would have boded well for Romney, but I wouldn’t allow them to frame even the opponent in such a light with a question that could not be answered in any way other than demonizing to him. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t truth. It was… subjective. That is my brain. Constantly in motion. Perfect in its logic. I have the best arguments in there… annihilating everyone who opposes me with sound irrefutable reason. My brain. No empty restful boxes. Frequently things just don’t seem right and it’s the facts and pieces of puzzles floating around that haven’t been put in the right places, but when a wrong piece goes in the place of a different one, though I drive it home with a 16 pound post mall, my brain knows. Don’t ask me how.
This is how I felt. What was I missing? There has to have been something. I felt no surprise. An odd knowing sad smile crossed my face several times from I know not where. As I drove in to work this morning, disappointed despite my lack of shock, I was still mulling the whole thing over. What did I miss? My brain knew something I didn’t. But what? WHAT?
Now comes the portion of the blog where everything falls into place. My wonderful gray matter, perfect in reason, is frequently out of chronological order. The pieces slammed home in one microsecond in time. Hundreds of thoughts and words finally aligning in the harmonious opus of perfect revelation…
My last post pondered the theory of the “kidnapping” school of thought of Benghazi. What’s interesting to me, and baffling, is that the possible fact explanations came pouring out of my fingers on to the keyboard in unnerving fashion. As I delved deeper and deeper into this theory, more and more questions were potentially answered. It wasn’t until after I had posted this on Twitter, that a follower RT’d it, favorited it, and then sent me a pictogram of the whole thing that was eerily similar to the model I had constructed. I made my OWN arguments, answered my OWN questions, and somehow, the models were near identical. The only thing I know that wasn’t my logic was the theory itself. If I’d have never heard it, there would have been no picture box for the puzzle. They’d still be facts swirling around my cerebral cortex with no place to call home.
I had… I HAVE… WE have lost our perspective, good Christian. I had spent the last couple of years with my nose in the ‘books’ for an hour or more nightly, researching, fact checking, cross referencing, counter cross referencing, objectified, subjected, disproving, proving, and reproving, anything and everything political. History, current events, Obama, potential opponents, Axelrod, Rubio, Hannity, Rush, CNN, MSNBC, FOX, Boehner, Napolitano, etc. etc. etc. Eventually Romney, Ryan…
My knowledge was my Bible.
My conservatism was my Faith.
And Mitt Romney became my savior.
Like most conservatives, I believe that President Obama represents a great threat to liberty, prosperity, and constitutional rights. Like some conservatives, I believe this is deliberate on his part. That his direct intention is to break America’s back in order to ‘fundamentally transform’ it into something better.
Ignorant attempts at governing and failing through ineptitude might offend my sensibilities… But a deliberate systematic dismantling of America in order to institute socialism offends my patriotism! It’s the exact kind of thing needed to propel me from conservative voter to conservative activist! I went from being contentedly disgruntled and moderately worried about the future, to righteously angry and justifiably mortified the more I learned.
I was all in.
And Romney? America needed Romney! Well, we really need Reagan, but you get it. To return us to our guiding principles! To restore us to our traditional values – the values of our Founding Fathers!
One of the basic tenets of my faith is that suffering produces perseverance. Perseverance produces character. Character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint. (Rom 5)
Out of one corner of my mouth I was praying, “God! Let Romney win! Please God!” Out of the other corner, “Lord! Turn our hearts toward You! Whatever it takes Lord!” And in the event of irreconcilability, “Your will be done.”
My dad has said on more than one occasion, “This country needs another depression… Our priorities are all screwed up. ” I understood what he was saying at a very young age. I agreed out of hand, not knowing exactly what I was saying, but I’m drawn again to the Bible as it speaks concerning the general propensity towards forgetting God in times of ease. The people of Joshua’s generation KNEW God… The next generation KNEW OF God… and the next generation KNEW NOT God. How then could both of my prayers be answered affirmatively? Not impossible with God but Ockham’s Razor comes to mind… The simplest answer is usually the right answer. Today’s Christian is generally less likely to hit you over the head with a bible and more likely to try to show you God through his/her life. A lot of the time, God uses a hardship in the life of that person or in you to bring them to Him. I believe this. I try to live this. But I wonder at my ineffectiveness at times. Truth be told, Most of the time. What use does the average American have for God? To them and in the light of my relatively benign cozy life – while wrought with relative tragedies and endless drama – what testimony do I have to offer that they themselves have not overcome? What extreme hardship have I overcome with peace, perseverance, and an averred belief that God is in control that might show them that I have that special something that they should want for themselves? Unfortunately, most if not all of the people I witness to just see me as a conservative prude. Quietly pious although not overtly so. I suspect this is more of the rule than the exception. Our children, yes. The world? Not so much.
Should I then be surprised that God did not answer my prayer for Romney for President? And the prayers of countless other ‘righteous’ people? The pit of despair then, I suppose, is where most people find God and God finds them. And the ideals of the Founding Fathers are met in the Liberty and Freedom that a Christian has in Christ ABOVE the freedom they have from government. God’s purposes will be met. It is His discretion to build up nations for His Purposes! And if He intends that nation for good and they instead conduct evil, it is then at His discretion to tear that nation back down. And, Oh! How far we have fallen! I suspect for more reason than one, that America must soon fall. I am not looking forward to this. I am not assuming it’s an absolute necessity or eventuality. But using my God-given brain, I would be surprised if it didn’t happen in my lifetime if not in the very near future.
I mentioned I believe this for more reason than one. The first (combo) reason is that America has and is doing evil in God’s sight. Morally reprehensible things. Abortion all but unchecked, alternative lifestyles unashamed, covetousness, unGodly from the word go… etc. Be truthful… on a national level, we probably deserve destruction! And I believe God will use this to draw a great number of people to Him.
The second reason. Why now?
I have been a firm believer in the idea that we are living in the end times. Israel has been replanted. “This generation,” … the generation of the replanting of Israel during the middle end of last century, “shall not pass away,” before the whole gig is up! I used to wonder if I would live to be a ripe old age during a peaceful age, but I was born AFTER the replanting of Israel! That means that if I’m right, if I am to live to be at all old, that the tribulation and great tribulation will occur in my lifetime! As it concerns this election, the ENTIRE WORLD will be against Israel! That includes the U.S. While Obama has been ambiguous, at best, concerning our relationship with Israel during his administration, and is almost certainly anti-colonial/anti-Israel, Mitt Romney very loudly and proudly declared that we would be their biggest ally under a Romney administration. While this does not automatically preclude, or rather wouldn’t have automatically precluded a Romney election, it almost certainly would preclude any kind of substantial financial recovery up to the point that another anti-colonial/anti-Israel President was elected. At any rate, if it is to still happen in this lifetime – this generation, now or later is just not that important. And so the puzzle came together. I understood what it was that was bugging me. Whatever has to ‘come to pass’ cannot come to pass under a pro-Israel leader. Cannot come to pass under the military combination of big brother goodness and power that has been the U.S. military. Whether it’s a lack of power or not, it is clear that we stand against Israel as a matter of policy.
So we live to ‘fight’ another day. Hopefully with a renewed set of priorities and renewed sense of hope. Not hope in the government. I have a feeling that for most of us the government is about to become more of a “render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” type of government. Even still, for the sake of the aborted, for the sake of the oppressed, for the sake of the poor and truly disenfranchised, don’t stop being involved in the process as long as you are able or allowed. We have some levity for a while longer. The end cometh we know not when.
Truly now, even if we never have at any point in our lives, we must live every day as though it is our last.
No mixed allegiances.
Make hay while the sun still shines.
~ Tim ~