Bobbing For Scandals

First off, I must apologize again for the amount of time between posts. So far it has been a crazy year, but I promise that I am getting back on track. 

So, on a scale from 1 to Black Friday in Bath & Body Works, how overwhelmed by all of the Obama scandals are you?

Seriously, I sat down and made a list of all the current topics I could blog about, and the list grew so long that my brain shut down. I found myself spacing out while staring sideways at my list, similar to how I speechlessly stared sideways when I encountered that lady in Walmart that asked me where the milk was while I was shopping on the complete opposite side of the store….in the paint aisle.

So, my friends, I’m going to blog about some of the topics on my list, but this blog post isn’t really about them; it’s about you.

*Pulls first topic out of the bucket labeled “Facepalm”*

Lois Lerner Emails:

My phone contacts all have the name of my actual contact, and also “& NSA” attached to them:

“Mom & NSA”

“Beth & NSA”

“Chris & NSA”

Etc….Get it? Ha ha ha. Ha.

At first it was just a joke, an ironic joke, but a joke nonetheless. The funny part about this “joke,” is that it was entirely possible. Why? Because our country is technologically savvy, to a fault. That’s why when I heard that Lois Lerner had 2 years’ worth of emails lost, I laughed. Then I laughed even more. Then I cried from laughing. Then I cried for the people that believed this unmitigated rubbish. Then I worried about the offspring of those who believed it, and the possibility that their parents were the type of individuals who thought that the milk was over by the paint. Then I started laughing again. This cycle continued for at least 4 hours, it was exhausting. So I laughed myself to sleep, then after my nap I proceeded to laugh again.

I’m not even going to explain WHY this made me laugh so hard. If you need an explanation, I just want to inform you of a useful fact: The milk is NOT by the paint in Walmart. I think Paul Ryan said it best, “This is unbelievable…Nobody believes you.” I don’t believe that ANYONE can be that simple minded. You know that the emails aren’t lost. I’m giving the human race the benefit of the doubt by assuming that everyone knows this is a lie, and that those that are saying it’s not a lie, are in fact lying themselves. Kind of like how I gave the lady in Walmart the benefit of the doubt, maybe she’s never been in my Walmart…or any other Walmart.

All in all, we should be deeply offended. They actually think we are that stupid. That says a lot.

*Sticks hand into the “Facepalm” bucket and pulls out another topic.*

Bergdahl Swap:

Is this in any way defensible, People? I love how all of the individuals that are free after this debacle, yet shouldn’t be, see America as the big bad bully of the world. They all feel that our Country needs to be taken down a notch. They all find our principles, Constitution, and way of business to be flawed. That includes the 5 terrorists released, you know, the people that want us dead, and Bergdahl.

Oh. And our President and all the manipulating, cheating, treasonous bureaucrats that supported him during this dangerous and illegal trade.

There’s no excuse. None. Zip. Nada. Nein. Nai. And for our friends who speak Swahili: “Hapana.”

We’ve reached that point in time when those we elect are giving more trust to deadly terrorists than they give us. No seriously, let that stew in your prefrontal cortex for a while.

*Hand dips back down in “Facepalm” bucket*

ISIS & Weapons of Mass Destruction:

So, ISIS stole the non-existent weapons that Saddam never had, because they never existed, because that was all just a Republican conspiracy theory. (Insert axis of evil joke here.)

Any questions?

Oh, and I know that right now you’re wondering why that all matters, thinking to yourself, “Let’s get to the important questions when it comes to Iraq…Like, are the tortured and beheaded civilians of Iraq fully educated on Climate Change?”…Have no fear, John Kerry and Bill Nye have all of those bases covered for you.

*In order to save time, Marybeth pulls out 4 topics from the “Facepalm” bucket*

Koch Brothers:

Can we please stop picking on innocent American citizens and the First Amendment? Do the American people realize that some of those we elected to represent us are now actively trying to silence us?

Dear Harry Reid, Stop. Just stop. You show more distain for the Koch brothers than you do for the recently released terrorists who prefer a death penalty that involves rape, torture, and beheading. Let’s treat the philanthropists just a bit better, eh?

SIDE NOTE: There’s a VERY thin line between politicians protecting you, and getting the chance to have them sic the Gestapo on you for a thought crime. Remember that very important detail when you don’t think that a Conservative blogger should be able to say that Obama is irresponsible.  

Redskins Logo:

Everyone is screaming about how we can’t blame Obama for what the Patent and Trademark Office did. Alright, I’ll go to the special land of Selective Verbiage with you. You’re right, Obama didn’t throw down his gauntlet and demand the change, but the government that he has empowered has figured out that they can weaponize government agencies, and that’s basically the same thing. Patent and Trademark Office, IRS, Department of Education, etc. are attacking the people of the United States because they hold different beliefs than the Left.

Sgt. Tahmooressi:

Bergdahl is home after betraying the United States, and it cost us a considerable amount of danger. An uncountable number of lives could potentially be lost because of this switch in the years to come. Yet, our government will sit silently while a dedicated American Sergeant is held captive in Mexico. Revolting.

VA

Wow. Just wow. THIS is what you get with socialized medicine. Period. We can do better, and there is SO much more to say on this topic, enough to get a blog post of its own, and it will. This is just proof that our government is violently out of control.

Maybe in the near future I’ll give detailed views on these subjects, as well as many others, but for now I just wanted to give an overview.

As for this being directed at you, it’s directed at you because the mid-term elections are coming up. I would say that they are even more important than the Presidential election. It is time for you to speak up, it is time for you to care, and it is time for you to find your voice before it is silenced. This isn’t about your wallet, this is about the fact that people are dying because of the policies that these politicians are pushing. It’s about them being too weak to even bring up the LONG OVERDUE idea of impeaching our President.

Show them that you are willing to do what is right for those you love, and for those who NEED you to be their voice.

Do something.  

–          MB

!!!!!BONUS ROUND!!!!!

*Pulls paper from the “Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Shouldn’t be President” bucket*

1975 Audio Recording:

We now have a tape of Hillary laughing about the 1975 case involving the rape of a child. Hillary also attacked the credibility of the 12 year-old rape victim, saying that the 6th grader fantasized about older men, and wanted the inappropriate relationship. So, in other words, the 12 year-old child, who probably still had dolls and read Nancy Drew, wanted the 41 year-old man to force himself on her in his car, parked on the side of the highway.

By the way…Feminists are defending Hillary.

I’m going to go ahead and black out for while… *blank stare*

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