Well, here I am, fashionably late. I know you’ve probably read all the GOP debate recaps you can possibly handle, but give me a chance to rock your world… or waste a solid 10 minutes of your life. I wrote a debate recap for another blog earlier today, and I reserved some of my meanest criticism for this post. I’m sure that everyone else who blogs there is probably happy with that choice. However, I’m going to put a little twist on the situation and discuss the entire race as a whole, and mainly note a few things I’m mulling over now that this debate is in the books.
Okay, let’s be honest, this is going to be one giant – albeit fun – rabbit trail.
So here we go:
So a couple of months ago I made a few predictions; who would walk away, who would still be in the race in January, February, etc… However, all logic has been abandoned in this election cycle, and I feel like one day we’re all going to stroll into the woods and find that we’re living in a mainland version of Lost. We’ll stumble upon a hatch with lottery numbers inscribed on the top, then come the polar bears, ghosts, wild boars, and a large smoke monster who manifests as deceased humans (I’m assuming Donald Trump has it contained in his basement right now… Wait, is he the smoke monster?). So, with that in mind, I’m going to talk about what’s going on, and what I hope will happen – avoiding all “predictions.”
Huckabee, Santorum, and Kasich
Three men who, combined, have the excitement level of a Rorschach Test. Unless every other candidate falls in a wormhole onto the laps of the Founding Fathers, where they just sit there getting pistol whipped with flintlocks for 5 years straight, these three men have no hope of ever taking up residence in the White House.
Give. It. Up.
Don’t enable them, Friends. This is like when your sister says that her life calling happens to be performing dances at renaissance festivals. There’s that brief moment where you want to support her dreams, but then you remind your family’s little Fabritio Caroso that she’s going to have to pay her bills. If your candidate happens to be Huckabee, Santorum, or Kasich, I already experienced that brief moment where I didn’t want to crush your dreams, but now I’m here to smack you with reality and remind you that it’s getting ridiculous. Give it up. Let it go. Move on.
It’s so funny, because half of my acquaintances loathe her, and the other half are in love with her, and I’m like Switzerland. I wouldn’t vote for her in the primary, but if she made it to the general I’d be happy to pull the lever. That said, I feel like her chances are nonexistent. She peaked, she dropped, and the fizzling commenced. She went from the kid’s table to the adult table, and then back to the kid’s table. I’ve been there, quite literally, and it’s devastating. Eating your food in close proximity to the nose pickers is not what one would call “optimal,” especially when you’ve tasted the sweet – booger free – freedom of the adult table.
I understand, Carly. I’ve felt your pain. Don’t let it linger… Get out, it can’t be that much fun for you anymore, either. You came in expecting a dignified race, focused on fiscal conservatism, foreign policy, and the future of America. How could you possibly know you’d be expected to point to Mexico and base your entire campaign off of unreasonable fears. It’s like when you’re promised a touching poetry recital, but then you show up to find Dieter’s Sprockets.
There are some people in the race who I legitimately enjoy watching get crushed. Ben Carson is not one of them. He’s made mistakes, mistakes that we can’t have Democrats using against him in a general, and he needs to get out. Partly because he can’t/shouldn’t win, but mostly because I need to stop cringing whenever anyone attacks him or he makes a poor rebuttal. It’s as painful as watching a puppy fall down the stairs.
That’s really all I have to say about that.
Does anyone actually believe that Jeb wants to be here anymore? I feel like someone could offer him a Frasier marathon instead and he’d be like, “Hey, I love Niles. That sounds like more fun.” And it would be, because Frasier is amazing. Go watch Frasier, Jeb. Follow your dreams.
I’ve made my opinions on Cruz rather clear here, here, and here, but he just keeps giving me ammunition. Ted Cruz has consistently changed position on issues to appease the angry masses, and on Thursday night, Marco Rubio finally took him to task. To label it “brutal” is generous to Ted, this was an utter evisceration.
The best part is that afterwards, Ted said that at least half of the points are false. He admitted that in some capacity, Marco Rubio was right. Ted Cruz has consistently sent his principles packing. When Donald decreed that all other conservative politicians would be drowned, Ted Cruz left his principles on the shore and put himself in a wicker basket before floating into enemy territory to be found and raised by Trump and his minions, yet nursed by the disillusioned conservative followers dedicated to who he once was. As a bonus, Cruz might actually believe he’s Moses, or as his father describes him, a “modern day Jeremiah.”
He knows how to hit the emotions and give people what they want to hear and see. Ted Cruz allegedly held his pajama clad daughters at every break during Thursday’s debate. Now, I have no doubt that everyone on that stage loves their children to the point of no return, but Ted Cruz knows how to use his children to garner support. The photo opportunity of such a scene, Daddy holding his children in the midst of a political war, is like crack for the emotionally lead masses. When someone made a cartoon of his kids in poor taste, he milked it, revived the cartoon that was so “off limits,” and raked in the money.
Paul Ryan can be chastised for simply saying that he wants to be there for his children’s lives as he lays out his limitations, but Ted is worshiped because he gives a heartwarming visual. It’s like hearing about suffering pets vs. watching a Humane Society video with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background. Neither changes the reality of the situation, but one stares through to your soul until you reach for the checkbook, or in Ted Cruz’s case, the voting ballot and the checkbook.
And no, you sycophants, I’m not comparing the children of Ted Cruz to dogs. I was merely speaking to the differences between auditory and visual responses. Go back to your safe space.
Ted knows how to work the visuals…
The truth of the matter is this: Ted Cruz is one of the most talented politicians to ever emerge out of the conservative movement. That’s why he can flip-flop around more than a fish out of water, and his followers will continue to say that “he’s the real deal!” They’ll proclaim that he “says what he means,” but can rarely give examples of consistency. He doesn’t speak to his followers, he preaches to them. I want a President, not a televangelist.
He’s a ramrod politician who executes manipulation beautifully. That’s about the only complement he’s going to get from me these days. He was once in my top 3, now he’s in my “I’ll vote for him while dry heaving with wine seeping out of my pores if I absolutely must” list. He’s either a principled candidate, or is just saying what he needs to say to get in the White House. You can’t have it both ways.
“Hello, life alert? Aye, I seem to hast tripp’d and fallen on mine owneth sword, and I can’t geteth up!”
He’s annoying and I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I won’t vote for him, I’ll never vote for him, and that isn’t going to change.
Everyone knows that Marco is my candidate, and if you don’t, welcome to my blog! I’m honest about this fact because I hate blogs that claim to be “indifferent” while clearly boosting a particular candidate.
Marco did a fabulous job during Thursday night’s debate, per usual. I’m not always going to agree with Marco, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find him to be one of the best Presidential candidates we’ve had in a VERY long time. For example, in one of his recent interviews, I was a bit perturbed with the immigration “law following” verbiage he used. I believe immigration laws are broken, and before they can be “upheld” to the full extent, they need to be fixed. However, I know that’s what Marco believes, as well, and interviews do not provide extensive time for detailing.
I’m frequently asked about his stance on immigration, so I’ve attached it below for your viewing pleasure (click to expand):
Now, just as I’ve talked a lot about Cruz, I’ve also made the case for Rubio here, here, and here (the final link explains my views on immigration, as well). So, with that in mind, I’m going to highlight a few debate wins, as well as some exciting endorsement updates.
Kelly Terry, sister to Brian Terry, a border patrol agent killed near the Arizona border in Obama’s Fast & Furious scandal.
Trey Gowdy on his endorsement of Marco:
Rubio has also garnered endorsements from long standing conservatives like Darrell Issa, James Inhofe, and Jason Chaffetz, who when asked “Really? You and Trey Gowdy both. What is it that you know that we are missing?” replied with “We know the candidates personally.”
In addition, here’s an amazing new ad from Marco:
Rubio is gaining ground with proven conservative leaders, while other candidates are gaining ground with media elites who profit from a very angry nation. That says a lot. If you have any issues with Marco Rubio, or questions about his record, leave them in the comments, I’d love to have a civil discussion.
So apparently there’s a crowd of people who wish to “draft Romney,” despite the fact that he’s not a candidate, or believe that he will be the phoenix to rise out of a brokered convention. This just isn’t the case. For starters, the vast majority of filing deadlines for ballot access in primaries are already closed. And a write-in campaign requires more motivated supporters than Romney can garner at this point. Listen, I liked him, as well, friends. But right now our resources are better served supporting a candidate who a) wants to be in the race, and b) can win.
Convention rules tell us that a presidential candidate needs a majority of delegates in eight different states to be eligible for consideration; Romney isn’t going to receive that in an eleventh hour plea of desperation. And that’s only if the very low likelihood of a contested convention comes to fruition. To add to the issue, Romney doesn’t want to do it. Period. At this point it’s almost disrespectful of his wishes for people to continue pushing him. In the iconic words of Elsa, let it go.
Rubio, a candidate who is incredibly close to Romney in policy and appeal, could use your support. Unless you want to see Donald or Cruz on the general ticket, I highly recommend you push aside the pipe dream of a Romney uprising and support Rubio.
So there you have it, those are my thoughts on the race thus far. Did I miss anyone? If so, they don’t matter.
Now, let the “Establishment Shill,” “RINO,” and “Political Cannibal” titling commence.