Trust the Lord with most your heart, and lean on your own understanding.

I will now paraphrase every Christian “I’m voting for Trump” article so that we can all save some time: 

Hello to my faithful readers, blessings to you and your family. This post may come as a surprise. I’ve embraced a great deal of scriptural guidance and prayerful consideration, and the war of convictions stirring in my soul has been overwhelming. To say I’m grieved is an understatement, but by the grace of God I’ve found solace in my choice. After much prayer and painful reflection, I’ve come to a difficult conclusion: the all powerful and sovereign God, with whom all my trust resides, has His limits.

I’ve reached the understanding that this election is a binary choice, and “standing against evil” isn’t an option. Oh, how my heart aches for my country, constantly clinging to that which is evil. Lowering standards with little regard for God’s word, to the point that even I, [Insert someone trusted by thousands… or millions] am forced to lower my standards. Not because I have little regard for God’s word or the trust He has earned, but because I love God’s word and trust Him completely, and I’ll explain how that works some other time… unless I conveniently forget.

So here, my brothers and sisters in Christ, are the carefully thought out reasons why I’m voting for Donald Trump:

– Hillary must never, ever, ever be President. We can’t put something that horrifyingly big on God’s shoulders. The future of America takes precedence over our faithfulness and, quite frankly, sometimes standing for what is right is not optimal. Sometimes being faithful despite our fears isn’t an option. I mean, sure, it’s an option… but ask yourself, what would Moses’ other ten scouts do?

– Hillary is really, really bad, guys.

– I mean it, she’s the worst.

– Abortion is one of the most important reasons why we must vote for Trump. I have a Prolife bumper-sticker, and I mean it. Yes, I’ve thought about the possible victims of Trump’s war crime stance, the refugees, Muslims, immigrants, the possibility of an all out war, and the millions of lives threatened by an egomaniac with his finger on the nuclear button, etc., but after much introspection I’ve found that those lives aren’t as important as the unborn. On a scale of 1 – 10, they’re like a 6… Well, maybe the kids are more like a 6.5, I suppose. Like they’re below those who have to pay increased Obamacare premiums, but like above bakeries that are forced to make homosexual wedding cakes. No, wait, reverse those.

– I really like Mike Pence, and I feel like if I drink multiple bottles of communion wine until I pass out I can dream that he’s the actual President and that his likability matters… at all.

– I really hope Trump hires the best people. And I find that hope when I read Psalm 3: something – something. It doesn’t really relate to this issue, but if I think about him hiring the best people while I read it, I feel quite good about myself.

– The people want Trump, and you should read I Samuel chapters 8 through 12. Riveting story. The people were wrong for demanding Saul, and they were commanded to turn back to the Lord instead. God was all “give them what they want,” and that’s what Samuel did. So I’m just learning from the lesson found in the story and embracing the wrong, just like the people who didn’t turn back to the Lord when they were commanded. Wait, no, I’m Samuel. Or am I Saul? No… Trump’s Saul, right? I’m… wait… no, ignore this story, it has nothing to do with my choice.

– Hillary could do unconstitutional stuff. [Insert list of things Hillary will do to America]. Survival is the most important issue, and we must be faithful unless we’re really scared. I mean, look at Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

– It’s imperative that the Republican platform is upheld. By the way, isn’t Jeremiah 29:11 a nice verse?

– It’s imperative that we show the world how dedicated we are to the Lord’s word by pretending it doesn’t exist just this once.

– We must show the victims of sexual assault that it is the people of Christ who are willing to elect the men who attack them.

– We must show the orphan that it is God’s children who are willing to leave them in ruins because, well, the other options are kind of scary.

– We must show minorities that the hands and feet of Christ are willing to slap and kick them if standing up for the innocent threatens to interfere with our gun rights.

So I ask my readers to stand firm in your faith, and put all your fears into the hands of the Savior. Stand against what is evil, stand up for the innocent, and trust in God… Unless times like this come along… You know, unless Hillary Clinton is running for president. If that happens, by all means sacrifice your obedience to Him, forget about Trump’s past victims and potential future victims, and give into fear. It’s the only option we have.

You can trust me on this, I have an Ichthus on my family sedan.

My friends and trusted readers, we can’t just do what’s right and expect God to be faithful in His promises, because that would be terrifying. We must act out of fear knowing that if we’re wrong, God will forgive us.

“Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.” – 2 Chronicles 20:17

Unfortunately, that verse has nothing to do with you. You’re faced with two evils, and you should pick one. You should be afraid, and discouraged in your stance against wickedness. Go out and take a side with one of the evils, because living under Hillary’s reign of terror will be the worst. Seriously… the worst. I mean, probably worse than any challenge anyone in the Bible has ever faced in a test of faith, so God will totally understand our predicament.

“So then, dear brothers and sisters, be firm (but not too firm). Do not be moved (feel free to move a little)! Always be outstanding in the work of the Lord (unless you’re voting against a lady you’re terrified of), knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 15:58

“When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever (but do everything in your power – offering your support to the wicked – to keep the control of the storm out of God’s hands).” – Proverbs 10:25

“So give yourselves to God. Stand against the devil (unless it involves the Supreme Court), and he will run away from you.” – James 4:7

“Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power (Unless Hillary Clinton is running for President, because then God’s all like “you’re on your own”). Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil (sometimes). For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers (specifically Hillary Clinton), against the powers (Clinton’s powers), against the world rulers of this darkness (specifically the Clintons), against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day (or back down, whatevs), and having done everything, to stand (or sit, whatever is more comfortable). Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist (unless it interferes with #NeverHillary), by putting on the breastplate of righteousness (That can include supporting a sexual predator, right?).” – Ephesians 6:10-14

So there you have it, friends. I urge you to reflect on the gospel, focus on what we’re taught in the scriptures. What does it say about greed and pride? Listen to how we are commanded to care for the oppressed, absorb the lessons on the fruit of the spirit, and the condemnation of lackadaisical fights against evil. Embrace the commandments of how we are called to treat one another… Yes, that includes refugees, Muslims, women, and minorities. Trust in the one who saves, trust in who He is and the guidance He gives. Think about how God was able to deliver Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from the furnace of blazing fire, and Daniel from the lion’s den, and you from eternal damnation. And if all that sounds like a stretch, vote for Donald Trump.

Image result for sarcastic gif

Serious note: This is a fantastic video by my friend Samo on how we should be Jesus followers first, conservatives second. Take a look!


53 thoughts on “Trust the Lord with most your heart, and lean on your own understanding.

  1. Pingback: Trust the Lord with most your heart, and lean on your own understanding. — The Collision Blog – Elementary Politics News

  2. Good observations, Marybeth. Unfortunately I don’t know what it will take to restore rationality and logic in our public. My friends talk about a “post fact” age, where information and reason no longer matter, where people are willing to let others do their thinking for them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power (Unless Hillary Clinton is running for President, because then God’s all like “you’re on your own”). ??? Really?

    How about “he will never leave you nor forsake you” Deut 31:6. ?

    You could easily put Trumps name in ever place you had Hilary’s. Trumps campaign is full of evil and hate. He doesn’t even pretend to have ANY Christian values.

    First and last reading of this site. Blocked the email
    Good luck to all of us in the next 4 years. Regardless of who wins, it will be a bumpy ride


  4. This is my first time reading your blog too, but unlike “God’s Daughte” it won’t be my last. No clue how someone could read this and completely miss the point the way she did. I thought it was hilarious and true. Great job!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Pingback: Weekend Picks ~ 11-4-2016 | Life on the Bridge

  6. Voting my conscience, voting according to God’s Word using His principles and standards and convictions to make my choice. Not voting for Hillary or Trump . . . ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Reblogged this on Ellen Kolb and commented:
    From the “I Wish I’d Written That” file, I offer this post from the blog Collision of Church and State.


  8. I’m not entirely sure that I understood your article. It sounded like you were condemning Trump at least that is what I got from your article. I try to talk to my mother and my friends about this if that everything Trump has said is bad about Hillary can be said about him. He has lied he is destroyed evidence and emails he’s never owned anything that he has said. So can you answer me that are you voting for Hillary because I am.


    • The article was definitely meant as satire, and anti-Trump. I am actually voting for third party candidate Evan McMullin. Thanks for reading!


  9. It’s a shame because your article was funny and well written…just full of bunk. There is a TON of truth available about Trump for anyone willing to dig. But, in all honesty, the truth of politics is that you are electing a platform…values…not just a person. All people are flawed. Many people LOVED Reagan, but he was worse than Trump in his Hollywood days. God used him and helped him become a great leader.

    I’m linking to an article I pray you will be humble enough to ponder and take to the Lord. It addresses why Christians may want to consider actually making their vote count for morality rather than giving in to the enemy’s ploy to “throw the election” with throwaway votes on false principles.

    Having worked in politics, I’m very aware of how our political system works and of the serious character issues that many of our “great” presidents have had. It is our job to fight for the unborn and yes, you can pray and throw your vote away…or you can pray AND fight for their lives with your vote.


    • Kathy, I respect your opinion about abortion. However, there are many other things to consider as well — most important in my mind is American diplomacy. The world is highly volatile, and an American President who speaks before he thinks could get us all killed, the born and the unborn. None of us can afford to be a one-issue voter; we must all consider all the policies of each candidate and weigh and measure accordingly. Unfortunately reality is much more complicated than an on/off switch.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. This is wonderful. I have shared it widely.
    But keep in mind that the good Samaritan took the man on the side of the road to a place nearby. He did not take him home and care for him. And Jesus never took anybody anywhere to help them. He always helped them right where they were.
    We are to help people where they are, and help enable them to help others. We can not help a fraction of the needy by bringing them here. We can only create the same problems in our own country that way.


  11. Statistics show that the independents cannot garner enough to take the presidency. That will increase the numbers for Hillary. If you did take some more time to go through what Trump is as compared to Hillary, he’s still a better chance for America. Just my observations. I’m from Singapore.


  12. I would add in this section.

    Surely we must vote for Donald Trump because he has always promised to defend the unborn (that is at least starting with this election season) and he will lead the charge to defund Planned parenthood despite the wonderful things he says they do. And if nothing else make sure you vote Republican down ballot because Donald Trump is possibly the only politician with the magic R next to his name who pretended to stand for conservative values but who might cave every time a stand came up because we couldn’t win anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I completely agree. Well put. (Also, not to be picky, but just making sure you’re aware of the typo in the title). Thanks for writing!


  14. So, this isn’t really pertinent to this post, but I feel compelled to share some thoughts with you, and this seems to be the only avenue I have to do so. I don’t ever log in to Twitter anymore but there are a handful of feeds I peruse on a nearly daily basis. After your infamous Tweet storm, yours became one of those feeds. As last night’s election results became inevitable, I saw a tweet conveying the sentiment that conservatism won’t survive the social/political climate we’ve just entered. I hope you don’t really believe this. I agree that conservatism seems to be incompatible with whatever amorphous pile of sh*t the GOP has devolved into, but you, along with many others who haven’t suspended their belief system to support an objectively awful and non-conservative candidate, have inspired me to become more engaged in my community and local politics, to defend the values I believe in an intellectually honest way, and to proactively exercise my agency to love people and do good. I not important and my sphere of influence is small, but know that you’re words and actions have made a difference, and I hope you continue be an advocate for the things you believe to be true and good. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. You mock my faith in God?

    We are responsible when we vote but to shirk that responsibility by claiming Gods in charge is irresponsible.

    Obadiah 11 In the day that thou stoodest on the other side, in the day that the strangers carried away captive his forces, and foreigners entered into his gates, and cast lots upon Jerusalem, even thou wast as one of them.

    Shame on you.


  16. As a Canadian you and I probably share little in our political views (someone once said that the US would never invade Canada since all they’d get out of it was 30 million more Democrats) but I’ve admired your principled stand against Donald Trump. You saw in him what virtually everyone in the western world saw and were willing to speak out.

    I’m sorry (terrified) that the election turned out the way it did and that so many Republican legislators (including many I’m sure you admired) did not follow your stand but instead opted for narrow partisan political gain over their duty to their republic.

    Lots more I’d like to hash over with you but even this will likely get me trolled. 🙂 You’ve got my email now, drop me a line.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Don! I’ll most definitely do so. Love chatting with people, even if we don’t always agree. Thank you so much for your comment and support, it’s much appreciated. My good friend actually lives in Canada, and I – jokingly – asked her if she wanted another Canadian friend nearby.


      • Given the election outcome, I’ve said to friends that it’s more than slightly ironic that it’s difficult for American citizens to immigrate to Canada since we consider the US a safe haven. If things go as badly as I’m afraid they might (and Trumps tweet last about professional protestors being incited by the media did nothing to assuage my fears) we might want to start considering American citizens as political refugees.

        That is only very slightly tongue-in-cheek.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: Trump is God and the Devil – Da Tech Guy Blog

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