Time Machine

2016 Election Autopsy Report

Today is November 9th, 2016. Here I sit with my cup of coffee, scrolling through photos of Hillary celebrating her win. I shouldn’t torture myself in such a way, but I want to feel this loss. After such a long and difficult year in politics -after losing friends, gaining friends, and embracing the inevitable – I want to feel the sting of fruition and closure. On January 20th, a woman who escaped federal charges by the skin on her teeth will be sworn in as President of The United States, forever changing and belittling such a position of authority… and it’s our fault. This should have been the easiest election yet, but we failed.

Ted Cruz gave a touching concession speech, and it was early enough for me to attempt to get sleep I knew wouldn’t be coming. The election results were not a landslide, per se, but no one would be second guessing the conclusion. Cruz graciously thanked the voters who backed him, and the people who worked tirelessly for his campaign. Tears fell, hopes were dashed, but he moved the crowd by saying that he would continue to fight for liberty, the Constitution, and for the people of this country. However, his words served as only a balm, and the wound he wished to heal with said words instead requires surgery, staples, countless sutures, and intubation; truth be told, it’s apparent to everyone that we’re on life support.

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Super Tuesday: Who’s on First, What’s on Second?

So… That happened.

Yesterday was Super Tuesday and, oh boy, did it not live up to its name. I think the words “should drop out” saw more action in one 24 hour span than Jack Bauer saw in 8.5 seasons. Everyone stood around poking what they assumed was the dead carcass of The Republic proclaiming, “What did you do?!”

Fingers were pointed, accusations made, and every candidate left has absolutely no viable path to the White House, or so I’ve heard. Some are right, some are really, really, really wrong, and others are over in the corner with a yo-yo trying to figure what makes it go up and down; we’ll call them “Ben Carson’s remaining supporters.”

I’m going to agree with some of you, chastise others, and give my own analysis of the situation.

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Vote Ted Cruz, Because He Doesn’t Drink Water & Repeat Sentences…

Here’s the deal, guys, Marco Rubio repeated a sentence during the New Hampshire debate, but his despicable behavior didn’t start there. In 2013 – while giving a State of The Union response – the parched politician awkwardly grabbed a bottle of water. Rubio is also known to suffer from bouts of nervous sweating while engaging in public speaking where millions of viewers are watching, leading us to believe the devastating truth: he might be human.

We have to face these issues, and while I once supported the Florida Senator, I no longer can. Awkwardly reaching for H2o is simply not a forgivable act, and repeating a sentence simply drove the last nail into that Dasani flogged coffin. We should expect more from our politicians, it’s that simple. Our commander-in-chief needs to have the wherewithal to face the nation without needing to quench his thirst for life-sustaining liquid.

As an example of what we should look for in a presidential candidate, let’s look at the actions of Ted Cruz thus far on the campaign trail, compared to those of Marco Rubio.

First up, let’s talk about his campaign phone app. I mean sure, the Cruz Crew app might be antithetical to his supposed support of protecting the privacy rights of law-abiding citizens…

His “Cruz Crew” mobile app is designed to gather detailed information from its users’ phones — tracking their physical movements and mining the names and contact information for friends who might want nothing to do with his campaign.

But let me ask you a question: Has Ted Cruz ever entered into a situation under-hydrated? No. I didn’t think so.

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I’m Not Supporting Ted Cruz: The Post I Never Wanted to Write

First off, not everyone that reads my stuff is going to like this post. However, I’ve recently been negative towards Ted Cruz, and many people have questioned why I feel the way I do towards him, or have accused me of demonizing the opposition to boost my own candidate. A lot of people won’t agree with this post, and that’s alright. I write to put my opinions out there, and if people don’t agree I encourage dialogue. I love that we all have differing opinions, and while I may harshly criticize some of those differing opinions, I still encourage discussion.

First, here’s a sample of the replies I’ve received:

“I don’t get why you’re so negative about Ted Cruz?!?” 
“What’s your deal? Ted Cruz is a fighter, and we need a fighter!” 
“I don’t mind if you’re negative about Trump, but being negative about Cruz is just ridiculous.” 

I tried to address the Trump/Cruz connection in this post, but apparently I didn’t do a great job of explaining my previous political leanings and why I’m so irritated. Hopefully this post sheds some light, whether you agree or disagree in the end.

First, a bit of history. Here are a few tweets of mine from back in 2013:

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Rubio, Cruz, and The Heretic Hunters

*Updated with information on Rubio and Cruz immigration beliefs*

I had a conversation on politics and religion with my Mom during a shopping trip on Sunday, which gave me the idea for this post. We don’t always agree on every issue, and while Ben Carson is not my choice, she finds him “refreshingly genuine.” We talked, we disagreed, and then we moved on and had an unhealthy amount of carbohydrates at Olive Garden.

See, I don’t even pretend to agree with my own mother.

She’s a fan of sarcasm with a purpose, but not snark, per se. I try to mold my posts around those ideals since I know she’s not alone. I once watched my mother’s eye twitch when Michelle Malkin said, “He’s just a lying liar who lies” while bobbing her head back and forth in teenage girl fashion – it physically caused my mother pain. So, alas, I try to infuse my posts with calmly delivered sarcasm, but try to stay far away from snot-nosed attitudinal snark.

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Donald Trump: The Magic 8 Ball

“He’s loud, he’s proud, and he creates jobs!” The man, the myth, the reason why I might start drinking.

As I think back to the 2008 election, one moment in particular stands out; the moment in which I felt the most heartbroken and disappointed in the direction our country was heading. Before the results were ever tallied I listened to the exit poll interviews, and I remember hearing the crowds chant over the charismatic nature of the Democrat candidate, Barack Obama. I heard nary a word on what he planned to do to our country; the bowl of blithering nonsense before me was just a culmination of free phones, free contraceptives, charisma, and the color of his skin. I remember thinking, “This man is going to win, and no one knows what he stands for, they just know that he’s a celebrity and the right color. At least I know that I’m on the right side of history, the side that cares enough about issues to truly study our candidates.”

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