Ready… Aim… Sit! And Pass the Pepperoni!

It’s political theater time again! 

By now you’ve heard about the marketing ploy, dressed up as La résistance, that took place on the House floor – literally – by Democrats. Maybe you’re one of the few wondering why this all went down, and what the Democrats wanted as a result. Now that the sit-in is over, I decided to write a condensed post that touches on as much of the debacle as possible. I highly encourage reading and watching the links I attach, as well.

Here goes! The week that nobody made you any safer: A recap.

What was clearly meant to conjure up emotions, and surely inflame cultural animosity, simply resulted in the crash and burn for any hope of meaningful dialogue.

Do you remember that scene in Jurassic Park when they lowered the cow into the Raptor cage? It was just full on disorder, animal moans, and inaudible screeches? This was not unlike that.

The House session officially ended in the wee morning hours on Thursday, but not before passing the Zika Bill.

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Authoritarianism – The Ultimate Political Aphrodisiac

So… Here’s my very serious – GIF free – post (co-written by the other – ever brilliant, but not so frequent – Collision writer).

I have been asked why I’ve focused so much on Ted Cruz instead of Donald Trump as of late, here’s why:

I think most of us would like to believe that those who follow after Trump are merely misguided, but for many he appeals to the darker proclivities living within us, the part of us that craves control and power.

The authoritarian.

I’ve found that the vast majority of the men I’ve met who support Trump are authoritarians or, as one Twitter user noted, the embodiment of Dale Gribble (you can laugh, I did). Of course they don’t openly admit this, and many are in a state of delusion in regards to their own condition – yet they indeed mirror the characteristics of an authoritarian. They find themselves to be higher on the food chain, and feel rightfully placed in a position of power over those who are weaker. They don’t see the value in those beneath them, and have a black and white world view. While masked in self-righteous ego driven behavior, they project their own feelings of inadequacy and rage onto one individual or, in this particular case, a scapegoat group of individuals.

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2016 Election Autopsy Report

Today is November 9th, 2016. Here I sit with my cup of coffee, scrolling through photos of Hillary celebrating her win. I shouldn’t torture myself in such a way, but I want to feel this loss. After such a long and difficult year in politics -after losing friends, gaining friends, and embracing the inevitable – I want to feel the sting of fruition and closure. On January 20th, a woman who escaped federal charges by the skin on her teeth will be sworn in as President of The United States, forever changing and belittling such a position of authority… and it’s our fault. This should have been the easiest election yet, but we failed.

Ted Cruz gave a touching concession speech, and it was early enough for me to attempt to get sleep I knew wouldn’t be coming. The election results were not a landslide, per se, but no one would be second guessing the conclusion. Cruz graciously thanked the voters who backed him, and the people who worked tirelessly for his campaign. Tears fell, hopes were dashed, but he moved the crowd by saying that he would continue to fight for liberty, the Constitution, and for the people of this country. However, his words served as only a balm, and the wound he wished to heal with said words instead requires surgery, staples, countless sutures, and intubation; truth be told, it’s apparent to everyone that we’re on life support.

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Super Tuesday: Who’s on First, What’s on Second?

So… That happened.

Yesterday was Super Tuesday and, oh boy, did it not live up to its name. I think the words “should drop out” saw more action in one 24 hour span than Jack Bauer saw in 8.5 seasons. Everyone stood around poking what they assumed was the dead carcass of The Republic proclaiming, “What did you do?!”

Fingers were pointed, accusations made, and every candidate left has absolutely no viable path to the White House, or so I’ve heard. Some are right, some are really, really, really wrong, and others are over in the corner with a yo-yo trying to figure what makes it go up and down; we’ll call them “Ben Carson’s remaining supporters.”

I’m going to agree with some of you, chastise others, and give my own analysis of the situation.

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Vote Ted Cruz, Because He Doesn’t Drink Water & Repeat Sentences…

Here’s the deal, guys, Marco Rubio repeated a sentence during the New Hampshire debate, but his despicable behavior didn’t start there. In 2013 – while giving a State of The Union response – the parched politician awkwardly grabbed a bottle of water. Rubio is also known to suffer from bouts of nervous sweating while engaging in public speaking where millions of viewers are watching, leading us to believe the devastating truth: he might be human.

We have to face these issues, and while I once supported the Florida Senator, I no longer can. Awkwardly reaching for H2o is simply not a forgivable act, and repeating a sentence simply drove the last nail into that Dasani flogged coffin. We should expect more from our politicians, it’s that simple. Our commander-in-chief needs to have the wherewithal to face the nation without needing to quench his thirst for life-sustaining liquid.

As an example of what we should look for in a presidential candidate, let’s look at the actions of Ted Cruz thus far on the campaign trail, compared to those of Marco Rubio.

First up, let’s talk about his campaign phone app. I mean sure, the Cruz Crew app might be antithetical to his supposed support of protecting the privacy rights of law-abiding citizens

His “Cruz Crew” mobile app is designed to gather detailed information from its users’ phones — tracking their physical movements and mining the names and contact information for friends who might want nothing to do with his campaign.

But let me ask you a question: Has Ted Cruz ever entered into a situation under-hydrated? No. I didn’t think so.

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Unearthed Interview: Ted Cruz Continuously Dodges Immigration Question

UPDATED AFTER NH DEBATE!

Back in 2011, on The Duke Machado Show, Ted Cruz was interviewed on his immigration stance. The video, filmed in Waco, TX, following a Tea Party Senate forum, was not fully released until yesterday, February 4th. A portion of the video was released when the discussion on Birthright Citizenship was being bounced around, see below:

His stance has clearly changed, considering his current immigration plan, located here:

End birthright citizenship. It makes no sense for us to be providing the tremendous incentive of automatic citizenship to the children of those who enter illegally. Most nations on earth do not do so, and neither should we. Birthright citizenship was meant to ensure that the children of slaves were guaranteed citizenship. It was not meant to confer citizenship on the children of people who are here illegally; nor was it intended to confer citizenship on the children of birth tourists, a burgeoning industry that makes a mockery of American citizenship. As President, I will take immediate steps to pass legislation or a constitutional amendment to end birthright citizenship.

The full video, which lasts for roughly 21 minutes, has now been released by Duke, along with Patriot Insight. Five months ago, in the comments section of the above video, Duke – being a conservative – gave an answer as to why he withheld the rest of the footage:

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Aragorn is a uniter. Aragorn is smart. Be like Aragorn.

WARNING: It’s about to get super nerdy all up in here.

As many of you are aware, I’m a bookworm, and J. R. R. Tolkien is a god in the literary world. So, of course, he created one of the greatest unifying characters of all time: Aragorn. I’m overwhelmed with great sadness over the fact that Aragorn is unfamiliar to many, and while I’m also rather disheartened that Khan may be a foreign name, as well, I’ll do my best to give a quick synopsis of their characters without going into incredible detail.

Disclosure: No, I’m not saying that Ted Cruz is Khan, nor that Marco Rubio is Aragorn. For example, I don’t think Rubio has killed any Uruk-hai and, quite frankly, I think we can all agree that we don’t want to see Ted Cruz in the bare-chested Wrath of Khan wardrobe. I’m just noting a few similarities in leadership techniques, and bringing some levity to the discussion because the current state of politics makes me want to curl up in a ball with a chocolate cake and regency era novels, and sob.

Khan Noonien Singh: Think Ricardo Montalban, not Cumberbatch. I may have picked this character because I could then refer to Ted Cruz as an “augmented human,” but as it turns out, the comparison fits quite nicely as a whole. In the very beginning, Khan is a fairly decent being; he comes across as kind, calm, gracious, but yet disregards the wants of others. Kirk even referred to him as “the best of the tyrants,” but also as the “most dangerous.” After being marooned on a “barren sandheap,” he led a revolt for the blind pursuit of revenge. Khan was indeed a villain, but he never saw himself as a villain, he felt as though he was righteously angry and deserving of revenge – he felt it was the right thing to do, you might say. His followers were dedicated and blinded themselves to his faults, as well as the danger an alliance with him induced, and they remained loyal because he was superior to normal humans. Ted Cruz followers offer this same level of oblivious loyalty; they trust him – despite blatant character scruples – so everyone should trust him.

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The Bill, the Con, the Mark, and the Don…

Four candidates are in the lead: Hillary and Bernie on the left, Donald and Ted on the right. That pretty much says all you need to know about politics in America at this point in time; The bill of goods, the con artist, the perpetual martyr, and Donald… Calm and sensible is no longer the route we are on, you must whisper sweet nothings of free stuff, lie, or be as outrageous and egotistical as you possibly can. Or in Hillary’s case, all of that, plus have female genitalia.

I’m convinced that this is no longer about left and right, this is Big Government vs. Small Government, Reality TV vs. Facts, Authoritarianism vs. Democratic Principles, Pizzazz vs. Sanity, and they’re winning because maybe – just maybe – we’ve crossed the isthmus.

Mafia mentality, reality TV politics, and authoritarianism are what’s in right now. Like a horrible, horrible fashion choice. Like skinny jeans and man buns, side ponytails and tight rolled pants.

Real Feminism, Conservatism, and Liberalism are so last century.

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All We Need is a Ringleader, & a Few Less Clowns…

Well, here I am, fashionably late. I know you’ve probably read all the GOP debate recaps you can possibly handle, but give me a chance to rock your world… or waste a solid 10 minutes of your life. I wrote a debate recap for another blog earlier today, and I reserved some of my meanest criticism for this post. I’m sure that everyone else who blogs there is probably happy with that choice. However, I’m going to put a little twist on the situation and discuss the entire race as a whole, and mainly note a few things I’m mulling over now that this debate is in the books.

Okay, let’s be honest, this is going to be one giant – albeit fun – rabbit trail.

So here we go:

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Paul Ryan: Myopically Maligned. Here’s Why You’re Wrong About the Omnibus!

Call off the angry mob, because it’s time to have a real conversation about Paul Ryan and the Omnibus. Many of my friends have taken various sides on the issue, why not throw mine out there, as well.

First and foremost, I apologize ahead of time for the length of this post, but there’s a lot to cover.

To begin with, we need to realize how ridiculously hasty we have become. Living in hysteria is exhausting; we’re weary of attempting to fetch the smelling salts for them, and they’ve got to be getting tired of declaring the death of our country every time a patriot pundit updates their status.

So, I recommend the following steps when political news breaks: Read the news, listen to a little Bob Marley, take a few days to read even more news from various perspectives on the issue, practice a few deep breathing exercises while you ponder, make a list of pros and cons, resist the urge to share that rage inducing image of Paul Ryan in a Nazi uniform from any Facebook page with the word “patriot” in the title. Most importantly, answer this short list of questions:

  1. What are we dealing with?
  2. What were the other options?
  3. What would happen if we went with the other options?
  4. Have I acknowledged the positives?
  5. Have I been manipulated?
  6. Do I understand this issue enough to put a curse on someone’s soul?

We shouldn’t need #6, but sometimes people can be irrational beings, doing what we sincerely hope is just their best impersonation of an inebriated Sybil, so it’s necessary. We live in the world of hysteria, where the brash response is celebrated. We’re the societal version of Who’s Line Is It Anyway: Everything’s made up, and the points don’t matter.

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