Photo Credit: Newsweek

#CNNDebate: What Really Matters

I am nothing if not opinionated, however, today I’m going to set some of those opinions aside and take a stab at a logical outlook for the current candidates. At this point, the candidates need to prove to those writing the checks that they are viable and worthy of continued support. Those who do well with the click bait public may not do as well with them, nor with serious conservatives.

Think of it like the appeal of a brand new toy. Johnny wants the new Nerf Zombie Strike Doominator Blaster, and he has dreams of sneaking through tall grass to annihilate the enemy, which is really just Jimmy and Billy, and so he begs his parents for this elite level of foam warfare. Johnny’s parents give in, and three months later the foam bullets are found bent and destroyed in the bottom of a toy box, and the Nerf Zombie Strike Doominator Blaster has yet to kill any zombies, and Jimmy and Billy have already purchased the 2.0 version. The shiny new gun that consumed all of Johnny’s time for approximately one week is now collecting dust on the floor in his room. However, every time Johnny gets bored and realizes that his fun new toys have lost their spark and appeal, you can find him on the living room floor building a castle creation made with the bucket of Legos his parents purchased him 4 years prior. You see, some candidates are Nerf Zombie Strike Doominator Blasters, and others are Legos, and one special candidate is like a blow torch in the hands of a toddler.

Last night, bottom tier candidates had something to prove, and many of them failed. Everyone at the first debate is out of luck, we all know this. But here is my breakdown, and prediction, for the 11 candidates on the main stage last night. Some exposed themselves as a good investment, others did not. They needed to set themselves apart in policy, not just in pizzazz.

John Kasich and Mike Huckabee (F):

I’m combining them to save time and sanity. They’re old news and have absolutely zero appeal to anyone under the age of 45, and that’s even stretching it. They won’t win anything. I predict that by Christmas these two will either be out, or they’ll be a joke. Both of these men would be a risky investment, all but guaranteed to yield a loss. By the end of the second fundraising quarter, September 30th, both of these candidates will feel the sting of defeat creeping up like rigamortis.

Rand Paul (D+): 

I have a feeling he’ll struggle for air longer than most, but still won’t make it much longer. He won’t even come close to winning the nomination. While many politically vapid millennials who appreciate his indignation for “The Man” tend to hang on his every word, the rest of us gasped in pity when he danced his campaign down the suicidal road of isolationism on Wednesday evening. We look around our world and see horror and fear, mass hysteria and pain, and our greatest concern with Paul was his foreign policy deficiency to begin with, last night only solidified our prejudice.

Ben Carson (C):

Ben Carson is the prime example of the Nerf Zombie Strike Doominator Blaster appeal. He’s a good guy, the people love him, the politically immersed conservatives even love him, but we cringe a little when he speaks on policy. If our country was not in the state it’s currently in, he would have a much better shot. Unfortunately the brilliant brain surgeon feels more like a dose of Tylenol for a patient fighting Ebola. We really like him, and if it was just a minor headache he’d be the first choice, but it’s just not a job for Tylenol. I suspect he’ll be all the rage for a few more weeks, but Wednesday was the beginning of his fizzling, by November he’ll be on his way out. The irrelevance of early polls will be on full display.

Ted Cruz (D): 

I once cheered on Teddy, no lie. I supported his endeavors, spirit, and full-on spunk. He was strong and against the grain. Now he annoys me. His speaking abilities, once hailed, now feel stiff and rehearsed. Worst of all, I cringe in horror whenever I think of the way he’s pandered to Donald Trump. I understand that he plans to collect votes from the disappointed leaches who are sure to drop from Trump once his campaign is doused in salt, but I can’t help but be angry for the conservatives like myself who had faith in him to rise above such low tactics. I am unforgiving in the world of politics, and while my personality is normally one of mild mannered – sarcasm laden – optimism, I quickly become Michael Corleone when you cross the line politically. Betrayal is intolerable, and while others sing his praises, I’m acknowledging my historical accolades for the man while also knowing what needs to be done. “I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart.” He’s cooked for many of us who are paying attention… Candidates don’t get elected by leaches alone, and the dedicated few who stand by him through his moments of weakness will accept the disappointment and move on, as well. I don’t hate the man, by any means, but I have no problem making him an example on how to lose.

Scott Walker (C):

Meh. Take him or leave him. I think many of us would appreciate him, and he is a step above plenty of candidates from yonder years, but he’s in over his head at this point. He’s a victim of sensory overload. He’s like a chocolate chip cookie on a table of premium desserts; when sitting on a platter next to dry muffins, Scotty is incredibly exciting… but when sitting next to cake, brownies, or premium pies, he just doesn’t outshine their appeal. He definitely could, but I find myself staring at him with my head tipped to the side like I do at an empty wall, “What will make this work, what does it need?” Before the debate I saw his great demise on the horizon; however, I believe Walker purchased himself a bit of time. That said, I believe it will be money wasted, because I’m predicting the great Scott Walker exit before the third fundraising quarter ends on December 31st.

Chris Christie(C):

Chris Christie is similar to John Stewart for me, I hate him and love him at the same time. I would never vote for him, but his presence doesn’t annoy me as much as others. He’s funny and good with one-liners, and he was very smart to involve the crowd on Wednesday night. That said, he won’t win. He’ll trudge on for a while, and he’ll make a lot of really great points, but in the end, he’s vying for the votes other candidates have in the bag. His strong points are genuinely held by most everyone else on the stage, and he really has no unique qualities that make him a viable long term investment.

Carly Fiorina (A+):

Girl brought game on Wednesday. She owned the stage. She’s a strong candidate, and I have a feeling she’ll be around for quite a while. More than anything, she’s perfect for a VP nod. She’s strong, she’s blunt, and she’s articulate. She’s strategic, and she combines policy with personal narrative. She’s not a politician, and unlike Donald Trump, she knows the issues rather well. I see her as a great asset to the Republican party, not only because she is a clear voice of reason, but because she could annihilate any argument Hillary would throw her way. I see her being here to the end, and I see other top tier candidates treating her with dignity and respect because they most likely see her as VP material. If you’re wondering what her appeal is, watch the mashup below. Like her or not, let’s admit a good candidate when we see one. Don’t like her, I recommend getting over it, because she’s not going anywhere.


Jeb Bush (B):

Don’t be angry guys, but Jeb did alright yesterday. He hit Trump with a few brutal punches, he defended his brother and his wife, and all in all, his outing was much stronger than I expected. I don’t want to see another Bush in the race, but when I remove his last name and look at the entire picture, he wasn’t bad last night. People say, “he’s awkward,” but the facts are, those arguments are as weak as picking on a lisp, tone of voice, or hand gestures. He did well, and he’s not going anywhere. He has shown himself to be a solid investment for donors.

Marco Rubio (A+):

Yes, Marco is my candidate, and I’m not shy about saying so. However, I merely echo the sentiments of a vast number of pundits, bloggers, and various conservative personalities when I say that he was in the winner column right next to Carly. Carly gives a solid punch, but Marco is substance in its purist form. Marco is a Lego candidate; he’s dependable, he’s consistent, and if you try to step on him he inflicts a blow that will take your breath away without stooping to theatrics. He did not stumble – he doesn’t stumble, for that matter – and he outlined solid strategies; more so than anyone else. If you determine that foreign policy is of high importance when choosing a candidate, you cannot overlook Marco Rubio and still be taken seriously. In addition, I spend a lot of time on politics and blogging, trolling Twitter for opinions. I’ve found that the vast majority of people I know in the “new media” support Marco Rubio, or at least lean in that direction. Rubio has staying power because investors know that the “new media” Andrew Breitbart created has even more pull than the high end – well known – journalists. A candidate backed by the majority of dedicated conservative “grassroots” writers – those much greater than I – has more staying power than Ann Coulter’s flavor of the week. When the celebrities exit the race, and 2016 rolls around, the game is in the hands of the new media, and Marco Rubio is doing quite well in their eyes.

And that’s just a sampling. Whether all of these wise men will fully support Rubio in 2016 is yet to be determined, but the general consensus is that Rubio ranks in the top three for the vast number of solid conservative names, as he should. The idea that he’ll faze out is unfounded, and quite honestly, a mere illusion thought up by those who just really, really like to cling to their favorite sputtering candidate like a baby blanket, hoping they won’t make the exit they’re surely headed towards.

Donald Trump (Crazy stalker you have escorted off school property):

Donald is running on angry fumes, but to think they’ll get him to 2016 is like me thinking that I can get from Florida to Washington on one tank of gas. Eventually his campaign is going to die on the side of the road – most likely in Georgia – surrounded by zombies with no Daryl to the rescue. His base may not shrink, but it also won’t grow, and as other candidates fizzle out his numbers will become less appealing. Hopefully the damage done in the Republican party by his bloviated rantings doesn’t linger into the general, but since it more than likely will, we have an even better reason to pick a candidate who can overcome them.

If you’d like a few highlights of Donald completely bombing it, here you go:

– Though they’re normal, his low blow remarks were on full display. After saying that Rand Paul shouldn’t be on the stage, a cheap shot at the very beginning of the debate, he also said that he’d have a lot of “subject matter” if he wanted to go after Rand Paul’s looks.

– He played the “rich people should pay more taxes” card, straight out of the progressive handbook like Obama was feeding him talking points.

– His business record was attacked, and he couldn’t defend himself in the slightest. The truth is that Donald ran on Daddy’s money, has had multiple bankruptcies on Casinos (which is, well, crazy), and plenty of his deals have been incredibly poor.

– He once again flopped on foreign policy and eluded to the idea that he’d learn it before getting to the White House. Meanwhile, Rubio and Carly gave eloquent and detailed answers. Can you honestly look to the Middle East, see the horror, and then turn around and vote for a man who doesn’t even sound like he could find Iraq on a map?

Speaking of his confusion between “Kurds” and “Quds”: “Hugh was giving me name after name—Arab name, Arab name, Arab—and there are few people anywhere, ANYWHERE, that would have known those names. I think he was reading them off a sheet.”

Crazy, one of those “few people” who know those names (Rubio) happens to be standing mere feet from the Lord of Darkness himself.

Those are just a few of the bullet points I had to pick from.

Now, if you read this until the end, THANK YOU! I’m known for long posts, but this may have taken the cake, so I appreciate you sticking around. I’m not a professional, and this isn’t what I do for a living, this is just my opinion on how I see the election moving. You never know exactly what will happen, but if Carson, Walker, or Cruz are on the general ticket, I’ll be eating my words. And if Trump is on the general ticket I’ll be writing in “Sweet Meteor of Death.”

Of Rubio, Republicans, and voting ‘right’

The political winds taunt some, depress others, and are a wonderful excuse to go do the dishes during commercial breaks for many. I, on the other hand, love nothing more than the sweet scent of political conflict in the air. It’s the breeze of responsible, the reminder that we can all make a difference in our world. I am ready for 18 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days of brutal campaigns, insults, and shouts of joy. That said, It’s only been a few weeks, and I’ve already experienced all of those things. I’m not one to shy away from opinions, nor one to defend someone to the death despite a clear difference in beliefs. I am, however, a realist…  Which brings me to the point of this post:

                                                              Who should you vote for?


WARNING: I’m about to discuss points and facts that I don’t, necessarily, even like. I’m about to tell you why some of my favorite people in politics can’t beat Hillary. I don’t like these facts, I despise many of them, yet I can’t get past them. So please don’t assume that I’m attacking your favorite candidate… Unless of course your favorite candidate is Hillary Clinton.


Despite the myriad reasons why Hillary shouldn’t be President, including the fact that if she were a Republican she’d more than likely be charged with a few crimes, she will most likely be the Democrat candidate of choice on the ballot in 2016. The woman could punch ducklings on live TV and still be worshipped by the left. They’re doing their best to make her seem human – “look, the elitist eats a burrito” – and they’ll succeed with those who really, really, really want her to be human…. Despite the fact that when she’s in public she looks like she’s either chronically constipated, or counting down the seconds before she is able to run to the nearest bottle of Germ-X so as to cleanse herself of commoner bacteria.


Hillary has a really good shot at the White House, because the average American voter is a glutton for punishment. They’re like an abused wife, captive to the idea that they won’t survive without a particular party in power. Yes, I compared the Democrat regime to an abusive husband. Luckily, for some of them, that’s a step up. Talking to you, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner… I digress. So follow me on this journey, let’s chat about what kind of competitor we need on our side to go up against the only “Feminist” to remain married to a womanizer and alleged rapist. I’m going to break down my reasons against/for the current candidates, as well as a few potentials.


Ted Cruz – Don’t you feel American when you listen to him? You feel good, you feel like he’s the second coming of Reagan. You just get the feeling like he belongs on a Presidential flashcard. Sometimes you might even accidently say “Ted Reagan” because it sounds fantastic. Wait… Is that just me? This man should have a soundtrack, and it should be Lee Greenwoods’ greatest hit on repeat. I’m pretty sure he smells like Apple Pie and baseball. I love this man, and I love what he stands for, and so do the handful, albeit large handful, of those in the country that land so far right they’ve got a poster of George Washington holding an AR-15 above their bed. So, what’s not to love about him? Well, quite simply, he’s not going to get the votes from the middle ground. If we lived in a sane America, filled with fiscally responsible adults, they’d see that he is the best chance for lowering the debt, elevating the lower class, etc…. Now, the Libertarians might not vote for Hillary, but they also won’t vote for him, they’ll either stay home, or they’ll vote for an Independent… And voting for an Independent is basically like casting your vote for the rich white chick in the pantsuit. If he wins the GOP ticket, I’ll slap a bumper sticker on my car and preach the good word, but he’s not my first choice.


Rand Paul – Oh, my heart. I love this man too. He’s a genuinely good person with a heart for his country. I really love the fact that he fights against the militarization of the police. He sees what I see, what many common sense individuals see; it shouldn’t be an us vs. them system, militarizing the police just damages the relationship they should have with the people of this nation. He believes that the warrior cop mentality is toxic. He believes in accountability, regardless of what uniform you wear. I have found myself siding with him on countless occasions where this is concerned. But there are staunch Republicans (I know many personally) that throw anyone who dares to stand for the rights of all people, not just the uniformed, under the bus. So while I may love him, many staunch Republicans will go full liberal and anti-rights if he says Andy Griffith can’t have a tank. That issue aside, I believe foreign policy is one of the most important issues in a Presidential candidate. I also believe that sometimes blood must be shed for the good of the innocent (WWI, WWII, ISIS, etc.), and I believe that America should defend the innocent. Hashtag diplomacy, well wishes, and minding our own business doesn’t always work. Understanding this is not Rand’s strong suit. He sounds like he’s changing his tune a bit on foreign policy, but with everything going on in this world, is it enough? On the plus side, most vehemently Republican voters will not like voting for Rand, but if he goes up against Hillary they’ll smarten up and vote for him because they’re still a step ahead of the Independents who really, really just want their weed, man. Unfortunately, he will garner very few votes from the minorities that Democrats have owned in the last 2 elections. Once again, I’ll buy a cap with his name on it if he makes the ticket, but he’s not my first choice.


Jeb Bush – No.


Chris Christie – No.


No. Stop it. 


Seriously? I should not have to explain the faults in either of those choices. Have we not learned our lesson with McCain and Romney? Do we need to revisit the rich white guy camp again to play games with what might be the most important election our generation will see? Stop making me hate you, GOP.  Stop it. Now. You need my generation, why are you bound and determined to push us away? 


Scott Walker – Alright, this one pains me… I’m a Wisconsinite, and a proud supporter of Walker. This election is going to require more, it’s going to require someone with a story, someone with charisma, someone that relates. I support most of what Walker has accomplished, including his fight against union thugs. But Walker does not have the story, and he doesn’t  have the charisma it will take to beat Hillary. True or not, her supporters will paint him as a “typical white Republican bully.” This election is going to be a difficult one, and we MUST learn from the past, or we’ll repeat it. If we run the same old campaigns of McCain and Romney, we’ll be listening to a concession speech by our candidate on election night.  If he ends up running against Hillary, once again, I’ll be the first in line to support him… but… Scott Walker is not my first choice. Ouch.


Marco Rubio – Ready? Rubio is my first choice. And below is just a peek at why I believe he should be yours too (I will include excerpts from his recent announcement):


He’s not an old rich white guy. TMZ once asked him the difference between Lil Wayne and Tupac, and he answered by detailing the difference between the two rappers. He quoted Jay-Z on the House floor. This may mean nothing to you, because it means nothing to me, but it means something to the millions of new voters who can relate. He’s relevant. I know Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and the likes don’t agree, but guess what… this country followed the lead of the Conservative leaders for long enough. We may agree with them, we may have the same opinions, we may own their books and tweet their quotes, but their choices have not given us results for quite a long time. Rubio is not Reagan, but I tend to believe that Reagan would have a difficult time getting elected these days.


“Here in America, my father became a bartender, my mother a cashier, a maid, a K-Mart stock clerk.” His parents had to budget, he had to budget. He just paid off his student loans in 2012. Do you know how long it’s been since Hillary Clinton had to worry about a budget? A loan payment? A very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time. She can stand in Chipotle until the cows come home, and it doesn’t change the fact that she is still going to walk away with a net worth that the majority of us will never see in a lifetime. This year alone, she’ll spend more on restaurants and clothes than I’ll ever spend on a house. She’s out of touch. Drastically out of touch. Her daughter is out of touch. And her husband needs reminders not to touch. This is where every other candidate fails to compare. Rubio can shoot Hillary’s class warfare back at her via cannon. He can paint her as an elitist who is completely out of touch with the rest of the world, including himself, and then he can drop a quote from Public Enemy and bury her, no other candidate can offer that, and if they tried they’d just look like that weird 50 year-old neighbor who has “JUICY” printed in glitter across the butt of her sweatpants. You don’t want to hear that, Conservatives, but buck up, Buttercup, it’s a fact.


“They’re busy looking backwards. So they do not see how jobs and prosperity today depend on our ability to compete in a global economy. And so our leaders put us at a disadvantage by taxing and borrowing and regulating like it was 1999.” In case you didn’t get the point, Marco Rubio is young and relevant. Hillary isn’t. McCain preached on how he could help you, Romney preached on how he could help you, Rubio is not speaking down to you, he is one of you.


“If we reform our tax code and reduce regulations and control spending and modernize our immigration laws and repeal and replace Obamacare.”


Taxes – I love the opinion of Cruz concerning taxes, I also love the opinion of Paul concerning taxes, and Reagan, and Coolidge, and, and, the list goes on. Guess how much good those views do if Hillary is in the White House? Wishful thinking is grand, and I’ll be a flat tax supporter until I die. *wipes away single tear* However, we are dealing with the struggle of earning votes from individuals who will give their support to a candidate based off of clips of Presidential debates between Lady Gaga and Katy Perry songs on the radio. If you asked the majority of the people in this country what “flat tax” means, they’ll look at you like your finger is glowing and wonder if you need to “phone home.” If Rubio gets in the White House and tax cuts take place, jobs grow, and people see that their livelihood improves, he can then run on even more tax cuts, and other Republicans will have the ability to tout even more drastic ideas without the majority disregarding them. Did you know that in a recent poll, roughly 29% of Americans believe that less taxes on the wealthy will help the economy? That’s it. So, if you and that 29% (which includes myself) think you can magically win an election by touting tax breaks for the rich, then have it. We will have much better luck using someone like Rubio to get our foot in the door and soften opinions.


Immigration Laws – Uh oh. There are Conservatives who jumped head first into a rather silly pool of pandemonium the moment that Rubio suggested that a path to citizenship for illegals already in America is the right thing to do, while also saying that the current laws need to be upheld, and that control is needed at the borders. I’ll admit, I wasn’t thrilled myself, but at the time I failed to see how it would benefit him. While you have your breakdown and proclaim your refusal to support him, I’m just going to sit over here sipping my coffee and wonder how many voters the smooth talking Cuban Senator just stole from the Democrats by not fitting into the cold and calculated mold that the liberal narrative has built for Republicans. Go ahead. Pitch your fit, but ol’Marco gained votes that no one else in the GOP will ever touch, like a boss. Besides,  apart from a ‘wetback roundup’ (go ahead, support someone who pushes that ideal and pave the way for Hillary), giving established extended families a conditional chance at staying is almost the only tangible and conservative thing left to do. 


Obamacare – He wants to repeal it, most people hate it, and by the time 2016 rolls around even more people will hate it. I really don’t think more needs to be said on this. 


“I live in an exceptional country where the son of a bartender and a maid can have the same dreams, and the same future as those who’ve come from power and privilege.” Oh snap. He went there. While popular Democrats have in recent year felt the need to remind us that without immigrants we wouldn’t have proper lawn care (no joke), and even our current President referred to them as “fruit pickers,” Marco Rubio is here to say that they can be President. 


He speaks fluent Spanish. “Not a big deal,” you might say? It’s a very big deal. Because while our President is calling immigrants “fruit pickers,” Rubio’s Cuban immigrant father came home from working as a bar tender after midnight most nights and told his son, in Spanish, that “In this country you will achieve all the things we never could.” That’s a substantial difference. “The final verdict on our generation will be written by Americans who have not yet been born. Let us make sure they record that we made the right choice. That in the early years of this century, thanks to the rapidly changing and uncertain world, our generation rose to face the great challenges of our time. And because we did — because we did there was still one place in the world where you — where who you come from does not determine how far you go.” This doesn’t move Ann Coulter, it doesn’t move Glenn Beck, it doesn’t move Hannity, Limbaugh, Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, etc. but it does move the kid that grew up in Harlem, it resonates with the woman who grew up translating for her parents, it has the power to move the young voters who feel like the politicians and the media can’t relate to them. Scott Walker can attack the unions, Ted Cruz can tout the NRA and filibuster, and Rand Paul can support liberty like none other, and they all do an outstanding job, but not one of them can relate to the young minority vote in the way Marco Rubio can.


Other candidates tend to want to slide their arm across the table, knocking all of the dominoes down in one sweep, and in no particular order. I want to do the same, but what I want will not work. Rubio is very good at being strategic, he plants dominoes to fall at just the right time. We need that.

He’s being asked difficult questions and he answering them in ways that are making the MSM implode. For example, he was asked about Evolution (since he’s a Christian) and he responded with, “It’s a scientific theory that should be taught.” Another example: A reporter recently asked if 43 was old enough to be President, Rubio responded with, “I know 44 is, which is what I turn in May.” People feel that he is inexperienced, but I tend to wonder if those people have been paying attention to politics lately. That’s not going to hurt his chances in anyway whatsoever. Maybe someday when we are back on track we will live in a matured America where people do care about the experience of a Presidential candidate, but it’s time that we face the fact that today is not that day. The left is terrified of Rubio, not so much Cruz and Rand, and that is very evident, and it’s also something we should be watching. This tells us that they confidently have their arguments against Cruz and Rand locked and loaded, guarded by a trigger happy MSNBC lapdog. However, with Rubio they’re scrambling for something, anything!They’re shooting blind and hoping that something hits… And he’s just smooth enough to pull a Matrix and avoid any fatal shots. Unfortunately, many on the right are too busy applying their Ted Cruz bumper stickers to notice.  

Now, after noting all of the obvious pros, here are a few things that I would really like to see from Rubio:

The Republican party isn’t sexist, that’s a fact. I mean come on, the party labeling us as “sexist” has numerous affairs, alleged rapes, and a body count in the war on women (Thanks, Ted…). The important thing to remember is that with Hillary, we aren’t fighting facts, we are fighting a narrative. If Rubio wins the GOP ticket, he needs to pick a woman as his Vice. Nikki Haley, Suzanna Martinez, etc… He needs a calm, smart, and articulate woman who can speak to the importance of the most understated and misunderstood woman’s right; The right to carry.

Democrats are starting to come out of the woodwork concerning Marijuana legalization. They don’t care. Seriously, they don’t care. The only reason we are seeing this – most recently in Wisconsin – and will continue to see this, is because they want Conservative candidates to look old and distant. When questioned, Rubio should default to the Constitution. “It should be left to the states and has nothing to do with the Presidential election.” And then give the, “Why are you even asking me such a silly question” face. It won’t be long before marijuana is legalized nationwide, taking a hardline stance will only push the younger votes away.

When asked about women’s rights, I want him to speak to women. I want him to look at the media and say that he’s sick and tired of politicians and the media insulting the intelligence of women. That equality laws are on the books, and touting additional legislation, and pretending as though women can’t understand any of the real issues that have to do with the Presidential election, is an insult to women. Simply saying, “it’s already illegal to discriminate” only addresses the issue, it doesn’t address the stereotype that Republicans care little about women. We need to turn the tables. We need to show that they are attacking women by assuming that we will believe their nonsense. He needs to speak like an original Feminist. The original Feminists believed that women were an intellectual equal, and showed distain for those who thought we were self-indulged jackwagons that couldn’t handle the difficult topics. Well, we aren’t, and Rubio needs to fight on our behalf against that narrative. Rand Paul has started doing this, Rubio should take note.

I’ve heard the following since expressing my opinions of the above with numerous people: 

“You’re crazy! How can Hillary win with Benghazi in her past?” – How did Obama win reelection with Benghazi in his VERY recent past? Good rule of thumb: Don’t underestimate your enemy, and don’t overestimate the bleeding hearts of their voters. If Hillary Clinton went surfing on a pile of dead puppies, but was wearing a Planned Parenthood t-shirt, she’d still get a disturbingly large number of votes from those who claim to “care.” 


“How can Hillary win with Bill as her baggage?” – How was Ted Kennedy’s name mentioned at the 2012 DNC without the large feminist attendance all projectile vomiting as they went running towards the door? He let a woman die slowly in a sinking vehicle to hide his dirty little secret and avoided punishment, yet feminists still get joyfully verklempt when they get the chance to celebrate his glorious name. There really are stupid questions, and we need to stop asking them, and start embracing the truth. We need to all sit down and watch Karate Kid and learn to know the opponent. Embrace the enemy. Be the ignorant whiny underpaid contraceptiveless needy feminist with a degree in gender studies, Grasshopper. 


“How can Hillary possibly win with the server debacle?” – Because she has a vagina, and a (D) beside her title. No seriously, that’s why.


“Won’t people see her horrible foreign policy?” – This morning I read an article about the guy that served her a burrito at Chipotle, and it wasn’t satirical. The article is not important, hilarious, but not important. However, the existence of this article is important. This woman is a celebrity, and I guarantee you that the majority of the individuals that vote for her will know exactly what she prefers in her burritos, but they will have no idea if she even knows how to point to Iran on a map.


Now, we can listen to the Conservative voices that are praising every other candidate, and some are even throwing Rubio under the bus. We can pick one of the other candidates, and I’ll vote for them, support them, and even be positive about the fight… But I sincerely hope that people vote Rubio, because I believe he is our best shot. I hope we all research his position on issues without flying off the handle like we did on Amnesty. Heck, he may do something really stupid before November 2016, I doubt it, but crazier things have happened. If that’s the case, I’ll gladly sit down and cover my words in hot sauce before dining on them. I don’t know the future, and I may be forced to change my tune, but as of right now… well… Rubio has my vote, and he should have yours too. 

There. I think I covered everything. Wait. One more thing. Whatever you do, please don’t pick Bush or Christie, because if you do, this will be me during Hillary’s inauguration: